JMH quotes
compiled by crucifyd / March 05, 1968
  1. "[Grandma's butt] is as flat as the side of a house."
    - JMH

  2. "I don't think there was ever supposed to be a mating of technology and old people.""I wonder how they [couples who don't talk b/c they're just sitting on their phones] make out, do they put their phones together?"
    - JMH

  3. "That's the bong, man."
    - JMH

  4. "What are ya, some kind of freak? Probably."
    - JMH

  5. "I've got a fifty foot booger."
    - JMH

  6. "What did Obama do? What did Obama do? Don't step in the Obama doo."
    - JMH

  7. "You wrapped the corn in dryer sheets?"
    - JMH

  8. "All I know is if you stand on a ladder you can see your own butt."
    - JMH

  9. Pa: *looking at paint scratch and dent on brother's car* "Where'd that come from?"
    Me: "The side of our house."
    Pa: "Well who did that?"
    Me: *giving brother a look* "The driver."
    Brother: *smirking*
    Pa: "I don't think it was the driver. He hasn't got enough hair on his head to drive."
    - JMH w/SEH

  10. Pa: "You ever been up top the water tower?"
    Brother: "Nope."
    Pa: "When you first start up, it's not so bad, till you're about halfway up, and then you realize you're higher than you can pee."
    - JMH w/FGH

  11. Pa: "I don't know if I'd wanna go over there."
    Me: "Dairy Queen?"
    Pa: "Well, they're strip chicken over there."
    Me: "Is it gross?"
    Pa: "Well, I don't wanna see a naked chicken."
    - JMH w/SEH

  12. "I don't know, but I think [Hillary's] bicycle seat is on too tight."
    - JMH

  13. "I'm a little stupid."
    - JMH